When I’m not chasing birds around my neighborhood and trying to convince them to pose pretty for me while I snap their photo, I spend my time as the owner of an advertising agency in the community where I live. I’ve been in the marketing industry since 1991 and am equally as passionate and fascinated by it as I am with birds. Consequently, I am continually noticing crazy things like what fonts companies use in their ads, logos on shirts, and what media choices organizations utilize for their commercials. One of my favorite games is judging a movie based on the trailers. You know you’re in for trouble when you go to see a new release and are expecting a fun action flick and the movie is preceded by trailers for “Dumb and Dumber Part 7” and “Bachelor Party 5”. Time to turn off the brain and settle in for lots of bathroom humor and jokes involving body functions.

My office staff is continually teasing me about my birding obsession. “Birding is for old people.” they say. “We found a walker for you on Amazon. Did you want us to order it?” they ask. Funny girls! I generally remind them that I’m responsible for making out their paychecks and they shape up… for a day or two if I’m lucky. Anyway, their playful taunting aside, I haven’t given much thought to this whole “my age and birding question” until my latest issue of Birds and Blooms magazine showed up. Yes, I admit it, I subscribe to birding magazines. Stop rolling your eyes. Anyway, thinking about their playful harassment, I flipped through the issue making note of the ads. Not good. Not good at all!

  1. Save big on your Medicare prescriptions at Walgreens
  2. TV Ears saved our marriage
  3. Five Star Opal anniversary ring for under $100 (what a bargain!)
  4. Jitterbug Flip Cell Phone
  5. Another Medicare related ad
  6. Orthopedic shoes
  7. Lift chair
  8. Fermented soy beverage (ick, just ick!)
  9. Really, you need a Jitterbug phone!
  10. Orthopedic slippers (for when I’m not wearing my Orthopedic shoes I guess)
  11. Birds and Blossoms wine glass collection (really, just shoot me now!)
  12. Hearing aids (huh?)
  13. King Solomon’s Secret Treasure authentic necklace only $49 (they’ll make great Christmas gifts!)
  14. Hummingbird Ornament Collection (eye roll)
  15. Old lady bras
  16. Portable oxygen system
  17. Medical alert service
  18. Nikon Camera (okay, I’m good with this one!)

After looking through these ads I’m pretty sure I need to start shopping for new digs in one of our Assisted Living facilities! But if my staff buys me the “Birds and Blossoms Wine Glass Collection” as a housewarming gift, I might have to kill them! Knowing them, they’ve probably already placed their order!